After we lost our daughter Caitlin, a couple of things I could never resolve. The fact that Caitlin died alone really ripped me apart. When your kids are sick , naturally you want to be there for them, hold their hand when its really bad. Well Caitlin got trapped under her mattress in a crib at someone house we were at, and she died under that mattress, I was in the other room, ignorant of her struggle. God allowed this to happen this way. He knew He was going to show me something of HIS heart, what HE endured for OUR sake. He cried with us , carried us through that time.
Well Gods brought closure to these that have plagued me all these years.
God showed me HE could relate to my suffering.
God turned His back on Jesus while He was dying, when Jesus needed Him the most, He had become sin so His Father couldn't look at Him or be with Him in His death! Jesus died alone, trusting the Father that He would be on the other side of the cross.
Imagine turning your back on your only child, your Son who never did anything that displeased you. Having to abandon your child when He's suffering so, calling out to you!!
Why did God allow this to happen to our child and us? With the choice that always presented to us , in any "event" that's painful, we could be bitter or choose to trust God. 20 + years later this is what He has shown me about Caitlin's dying alone.
I call it "sipping the cup " of suffering, partaking of the cup of suffering , so we can share with God and His Son what HE did for us. Get a glimpse of His love toward us, and Jesus's sacrifice.
Taste what the Father tasted! We went through this , not willingly. GOD WAS WILLINGLY SACRIFICING HIS SON THAT WE COULD HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM!!! It was the only way, the only way the" veil could be torn,"Luke 23:45, Hebrews 10: 19-20, that separated us from the most Holy God!!
Things happen in this life that we are not able to understand, bad things, but if we give them over to the Father , if we lay them at the altar and not allow bitterness to take root, then someway, someday God will show you how, " All things work together for good ,to those who love God, and are called according to HIS purpose" Romans 8:28
God knew someday, I would be undone by the knowledge of GOD'S suffering, that it would pierce my heart in such a way that my love would forever sealed in Gods heart.
God's raising an army, an army who KNOW their God and who are KNOWN by Him. To KNOW the heart of God you have to be willing to "SIP FROM THE CUP". Not run from the cup, but trust the Lord to see you through to the other side, as Jesus did at the cross. Romans 5 :3-4
3 comments:
I had no idea. Your family is an inspiration for Sarah and I.
Wow, Barb. That is powerful. Thanks for writing it.
I just love my sisters love for the Father and her understanding of his mercy. Even when we are in pain, it is in his light not darkness. We remember now, he has known us from the day he created our spirit. We are spirit in the flesh, lest we forget we will be going home in the blink of an eye. And, yes we have free will to accept his love or deny it through Jesus.
Barb you amaze me all the time. I am so thankful for you and your faith.
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