The mind, its a terrible thing to waste

When I pray my mind is like a CB scanner, it flits about, here and there, never in one place to long. So it hard to hold on to thoughts or prayers for someone. VERY frustrating. One day I asked the Lord if you going to heal anything , make it my mind , so I can stop chasing my prayers. That morning I was able to concentrate on each thing that God laid on my heart, just like old times with the Lord!! BUT different, BETTER. O Jesus, you so good to me, Thank you.

No Short cuts...

I remember back in May, I think, I said, " if I could conjure up miracle I would, I want out!!" Speaking of the trial of dealing with the ravages of being " stroked". Well Gods been working, lately I see that the stroke has done things in my life that only suffering can do. I don't know that I feel the same way. Oh I get frustrated, especially with the "one hand" deal, that's the hardest thing at this point to deal with. I'm even getting used to the stares , in the store, as I lumber along. But God has a plan.... I don't think its making me a better 3rd baseman, or a great singer, my voice is gone since the stroke, its growing my character, and that , unfortunately take drastic measures. So I'm willing to keep sipping from the cup till he forms CHRIST in me.

Yielding

There is a fine line between yielding and giving up. Somewhere God asks us to trust and rest "having done all to stand". Does that mean I can stop doing my exercising? That some way Gods going to strengthen my leg/arm? No, but their is a yielding to HIS will, His timing ,trusting Him for the results. I spent 10 or so days frustrated, angry,crying every time I came to a road block. It started with the snow fall, the leylands that I planted ,and have nursed for a number of years, were covered with snow. The branches just hung way down, and would normally go out and shake the snow of all the trees as best as I could. They were uprooted a few years ago when hurricane Isabel came through, I replanted every tree, a real labor of love, now they are my "babies" When the snow fall came I was faced with my limitations, it mad me so mad! A simple thing and I could not do it. Well the next week or so I ran into roadblock after roadblock, the simplest thing were impossible. Every now and then this raises it ugly head , and I crumble.

I was very athletic , thats putting it mildly, from running , throwing a football, baseball, kickboxing, horseback riding, diving, splitting wood, I LOVE TO SPLIT WOOD!!  I was strong!!! I took pride in my physical prowess. That was the key, pride. That thing is every where. Dressing up in a suit so you don't recognize it , but its alway the same result. death.

later...

lauging was never my problem

But it is now! I laugh every time Myles comes with a tale of woe, course it does not help how much "drama" comes with it. All he's got to do is start to tell me "how " he got hurt, and I laugh!! Am I scaring him for life, will we have to pay for counseling?? Is Obama going to tax my laughter?? MMMMM? Put a "CAP" in it. Good luck.