Deep Silence

AAAhhhh my inner voice is back. For a long time , almost a year there was just "silence " and a deep "quiet" in my head. I couldn't hear Gods voice, I couldn't hear my inner voice. Its hard to describe. Right after the stroke,I knew something had happened, what though, I didn't know. I couldn't think pass the moment, the here and now was all I knew. It's been a full year + 2 months, I think i have started to come on line. Like the brain connection has been restored. Gathering my thoughts in one place is still hard, like when I pray, but it forces me to " get to the point" because I only have a few seconds to hold a thought before the Lord, it slips away and I have to chase it down again.
I'm able to get revelation again, BUT gotta write it down, or it slips away, retrieving it is hard.

Self esteem....

The key word in this phrase "self esteem" is self. I realized that God's "esteem" is what I want, need. Self esteem is so fickle, subject to emotions, you know how steady they are! It's subject to circumstances that are always changing, or to the people around us. No, I want something that is constant, a sure thing. He loves me no matter what, what I do, say, think. He's the Papa I always wanted, needed.